When was the last time you cried?
The last time when I cried was when Grandpa passed away about three years ago. It was a state of depression and loneliness leaving me feeble and weak. For the first time, I felt the loss of my love ones.
The last time I almost cried was when Andy told me to finish up my food. I shall not elaborate on that.
I didn’t cry when I fell off the cliff when climbing Mount Angsi
I didn’t cry when my whole body was covered up with bruises and bad scars as a result from the fall.
I didn’t cry when I had non-stop nightmares about it.
I didn’t cry when there were a lot of versions of unbelievable rumors, over embellished, the results of malicious village gossipers.
I didn’t cry when I was accused of stealing somebody’s husband and wreaking their marriage.
I didn’t cry when my ex-boyfriend told me straight in the face that he is married.
I found myself unable to follow the rambling and the incoherent plot. His so-called modesty and perfect boyfriend characteristics were at any rate of proverbial, and it seems that he went out of his way to conceal or gloze his lies. He was living in a world of denial. A world of his own, only he will understand on why he did that. A barefaced liar, that’s him. Someone who doesn’t even show any shame even when he was exposed to reality. He has wasted two years of my time being with him. We fought against what people said about us. Sometimes, I feel that I was fighting it single-handedly. His ability to win over my parent’s heart and trusts, his proposal, his support towards me. All that glitters are not gold. Sometime appearance can be deceptive.
There wasn’t a need for me to blow the gasket. Somehow or rather, I am already caught between the devil and the deep blue seas. How do I interpret the reoccurring dreams? A dream which gave me signs about him. God is great! The truth has finally unfolded. A beatific smile spread across my face, as I look at myself in the mirror. Bliss!
I was glad that my brother was with me when I had to meet up with him and his wife. There was nothing else for me to talk about. I hated looking at him. I was not even trying to vent my spleen. I looked at his wife who was telling me about their marriage life and their kids. I look at that coward and knew that he wasn’t even worth a lifetime. He was worthless. To even think that his own wife supported him, that was dumb. That was definitely stupid. I would leave a man whom had an affair with another woman. I would definitely leave my husband if he does that. Never darken my door again and I don’t wish to see you or cross path ever with you in life. I look at myself. Why isn’t there any feeling of vengeance in me? Revenge is supposed to be sweet isn’t it?
To all my friends, thank you for all the great advices when I was at the lowest point of my life. I am learning to pick up the piece in life. My brother, for being there for me in times of needs. My best buddies, Mary, Fatimah, Aida, Rammy, Kak Imah for listening to my sorrows. My family, for loving me. To friends, who are willing to be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Andy for making me smile even more each day…
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