The visit to Grandma

My Grandma, Nasimah was hospitalized weeks before my engagement and thus she was not able to be part of my event. Her body parts were failing her and she has to be bed ridden. It has been a while since I’ve seen her. Looking at her so frail and weak sadden me. It was depressing and heartbroken. I felt sorry for her state. As I sat beside her, I kept quiet. It was a complete silence from me for more than half an hour. The truth was I have tried but I was not able to even ask her on her condition. She used to be someone whom is so actively involved in the catering business. She watches over me when I was a young child, she teaches me her secrets to good ingredients in a recipe, she disciplines me on the importance on taking care of personal hygiene and beauty, and she imparts in me the priority of treating my husband the right way. She has her own believes and concern that a Javanese woman should have the knowledge of being a perfect housewife. This would include knowing how to cook, completing the housework and ensuring that the husband has to be treated the right way. She wants me to be as perfect as her. Her strict and firm personality seems hard on me as a young child. All she ever wanted was the best for me. I didn’t realize it right from the start.


Andy was annoyed and provoked by my reaction. I was supposed to show concerns to my own Grandmother but I didn’t. I was in my own world and not wanting to be part of the situation. He gave me this hateful look. It felt sore. I wasn’t able to communicate as I was controlling my emotions and preventing the tears from flowing. It took me courage to speak up. I started off with showing her my engagement ring and slowly began asking her on her critical condition. It disappoints me that Andy is not able to relate to my feelings and how dejected I was with the whole situation. Then again, he had his own views too. I was just being emotion for that doleful moment…