I feel horrible, awful and dreadful. In short, it was such a lousy day today! From the hundreds of emails waiting to be replied, to the numerous number of calls on the unresolved upgrade issue of the latest version of the Shipping tools, to the increasing piles of workloads screaming for my attention. No! I did not procrastinate! I was clearing my task, going strong and steady but it just have to keep coming in. I could feel the pressure coming from my peers too by looking at the increasing number of tickets which was assigned to them. The “Connect” issue is really killing my brain and draining my juice. The surge in call volumes are mainly contributed by the upgrade issue which wasn’t resolved and tackled till today. By the time, I was totally focused on my work; I had to be interrupted by calls from both internal and external. It either trying to undertake the customers issues and providing a workaround or providing training at these very crucial period of mine called concentration! Do I even have a choice to refuse? Taking into consideration that each interruption will take about at least half an hour and by the time, I lay my eyes on what I was doing previously, I have lost my focus.
To further worsen things, it’s a Thursday which means that I have a night class to teach. This would also mean that I will have to lose my temper controlling the kids’ behaviors in class. This would definitely include shouting, yelling and screaming. (I would include barking too if I could). The moment I stepped my foot in the class, the classroom was already in a chaotic mess and overbearing with little yaks and intrigued questions. “Have I made myself clear that I want silence in my class?”
For a moment, there was silence. There was a sense of guilt for making the teacher enraged and causing displeased but after a while it became clattery and deafening. Again! Those non-stops chattering and rackety challenged my patience. As expected, the teacher loses her temper again. Repeatedly and it became a cycle. Of’ Course, I was nice to those students who behaved themselves and listened to me. I gave them the best that I could. For those, whom misbehaved, I have instructed them to repeat what they have learned over and over again. Me prejudice? I was just teaching them a lesson! I’ve made one of the students memorized all the new words that I have taught in class today and he was not allowed to leave class till he was able to do so. Too much? I think so.
As I looked at him staring and trying hard to memorize those words, I was still adamant in making him remember all of them. He came up to me (almost crying) and asked me to test his memory. Come on, he is just a child. Don’t be too hard on him. He tried his very best and although he didn’t get it all right, at least he made the effort.
As he leaves the class with his sister, I reminded him that he will be tested again on the following week. He nodded in obligation. I have only wanted the best for him. I didn’t want to fall back behind the rest. I want him to catch up with his mates. For I have realized that it is my responsibility to teach him not as my student but just like how I would, with my own child.
P.S: I am mentally tired…
No comments:
Post a Comment