As we were having dinner on one of our dates, I asked Andy if he will ever ask me if he can re-marry again. In short, is to have a second wife. He looked at me and for a moment there was a complete silence. I know that my question doesn’t make sense when we are not even married to each other. To me, the answer will be an assurance. His assurance to me that he will love me till deaths do us part. Am I living in a world of fantasy or am I just ignoring the fact of reality? Life as it is, is unpredictable and written. We will never know what will happen tomorrow ~ we can only hope and pray that things will be fine and we are thankful that we manage to live for another day of our life.
Andy looked at me and told me no. Am I being ridiculous to ask such a question to my future husband? Let’s be realistic now. What if I am not able to provide him with a child? What if I become sick and I am not able to fulfill his needs? Can I bring myself to say to him, “Dear, why don’t you re-marry again?”
“We will work it out”. That was his reply.
Of ‘course, I will turn paranoid in hatred and anger if he ask me the bonus question if I am able to love him with all my heart and I am able to carry out all my duties as a wife. If that happens, I will make the right decision as not to move on with the marriage. Blogging about this doesn’t mean I am asking for it. Life is not a bed of roses! There tend to be lots of temptations, obstacles, challenges and tests that we will have to overcome as a couple. In years to come, I may lose my youth, stamina, and will grow old. What if a younger woman comes into the picture? Yes! Yes! I am so paranoid about this. A common reaction or reply will be “you have to trust your husband”. Come on! The word temptation will always be there. In him I trust but I will not give in to such instances. If he breaks the trust that I have given him, I will just leave…When I told him that, he reversed back the question to me, “what if you are the one who found a new love? Will you leave me?”
I know I won’t do such a thing to him. I know myself. If I know that I can’t bear to do such things to him, why wouldn’t I re-assure myself that he will not too? (Can I have a hug now?)
What is a Polygamous marriage?
It is the term used for a man marries more than one wife at one time this can only be undertaken by those who:
- Have the capabilities to provide a life that is well balanced where the financial, physical and emotional well being of his wives are concerned
- Has a good marriage life currently and the adverse is not the reason he has decided to take another wife
- Have specific reasons which are benefits that his first marriage cannot provide but his second marriage can. Love is not one of the benefit
In Islam, polygamy is allowed, with the specific limitation that a man can have up to four wives at any one time. The Qur'an clearly states that men who choose this route must deal with their wives justly. If the husband fears that he cannot deal with his wives justly, then he should only marry one. Islamic scholars opine that the husband must tell the first wife if he wants to marry another. A husband doesn't necessarily need the permission of his first wife, but the first wife has the right to divorce if the husband re-marries without her liking. Women, on the other hand, are only allowed to marry one husband, although they are allowed to remarry after a divorce.
Polygamy, and laws concerning polygamy, differ greatly throughout the Islamic world and form a very complex and diverse background from nation to nation. Whereas in some Muslim countries it may be fairly common, in most others it is often rare or non-existent. According to traditional Islamic law, a man may take up to four wives, and each of those wives must have her own property, assets, and dowry. Usually the wives have little to no contact with each other and lead separate, individual lives in their own houses, and sometimes in different cities, though they all share the same husband. Polygamy is an exception rather than the rule and is traditionally restricted to men who can manage things, and in some countries it is illegal for a man to marry multiple wives if he is unable to afford to take care of each of them properly.
Andy looked at me and told me no. Am I being ridiculous to ask such a question to my future husband? Let’s be realistic now. What if I am not able to provide him with a child? What if I become sick and I am not able to fulfill his needs? Can I bring myself to say to him, “Dear, why don’t you re-marry again?”
“We will work it out”. That was his reply.
Of ‘course, I will turn paranoid in hatred and anger if he ask me the bonus question if I am able to love him with all my heart and I am able to carry out all my duties as a wife. If that happens, I will make the right decision as not to move on with the marriage. Blogging about this doesn’t mean I am asking for it. Life is not a bed of roses! There tend to be lots of temptations, obstacles, challenges and tests that we will have to overcome as a couple. In years to come, I may lose my youth, stamina, and will grow old. What if a younger woman comes into the picture? Yes! Yes! I am so paranoid about this. A common reaction or reply will be “you have to trust your husband”. Come on! The word temptation will always be there. In him I trust but I will not give in to such instances. If he breaks the trust that I have given him, I will just leave…When I told him that, he reversed back the question to me, “what if you are the one who found a new love? Will you leave me?”
I know I won’t do such a thing to him. I know myself. If I know that I can’t bear to do such things to him, why wouldn’t I re-assure myself that he will not too? (Can I have a hug now?)
What is a Polygamous marriage?
It is the term used for a man marries more than one wife at one time this can only be undertaken by those who:
- Have the capabilities to provide a life that is well balanced where the financial, physical and emotional well being of his wives are concerned
- Has a good marriage life currently and the adverse is not the reason he has decided to take another wife
- Have specific reasons which are benefits that his first marriage cannot provide but his second marriage can. Love is not one of the benefit
In Islam, polygamy is allowed, with the specific limitation that a man can have up to four wives at any one time. The Qur'an clearly states that men who choose this route must deal with their wives justly. If the husband fears that he cannot deal with his wives justly, then he should only marry one. Islamic scholars opine that the husband must tell the first wife if he wants to marry another. A husband doesn't necessarily need the permission of his first wife, but the first wife has the right to divorce if the husband re-marries without her liking. Women, on the other hand, are only allowed to marry one husband, although they are allowed to remarry after a divorce.
Polygamy, and laws concerning polygamy, differ greatly throughout the Islamic world and form a very complex and diverse background from nation to nation. Whereas in some Muslim countries it may be fairly common, in most others it is often rare or non-existent. According to traditional Islamic law, a man may take up to four wives, and each of those wives must have her own property, assets, and dowry. Usually the wives have little to no contact with each other and lead separate, individual lives in their own houses, and sometimes in different cities, though they all share the same husband. Polygamy is an exception rather than the rule and is traditionally restricted to men who can manage things, and in some countries it is illegal for a man to marry multiple wives if he is unable to afford to take care of each of them properly.
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