A new survey has discovered that an average couple bickers and quarrel 2,455 times a year over disagreement - equal to almost seven times a day! What! Seven times a day and that will definitely depend on how long does each argument lasts. Half an hour? Two hours or the whole day? It is normal and is a part of a healthy relationship. Putting up with each other’s daily annoyance; this can get irritating at times. Get your stopwatch ready ladies! Or should I say don’t even bother timing the disagreements as you it is re-occurring and in the end back to square one despite all those many “Sorry” and forgiveness. It is a woman’s nature to remember something that really hurt her the most. I do! What about you? Though I am always reminded of the cliché ~ “Forget and forget”, I can definitely forgive but to forget it will take a while and at time by not forgetting it, it hurts me more when I got reminded of it. If a service recovery for the heart was done right from the start, I think it would somehow helps to patch the broken heart. A broken heart sometimes leads to depression and it changes a person’s personality. So what will you do to make it up to your love ones? It is not about saying sorry all the time. It’s more about learning the mistakes and trying to improve it. But what happens when it just keeps occurring again and again? Do you just let it be or will you choose to walk away?
Arguments can happen on dates, after a long day at work, during dinner, while texting each other, on MSN, on Facebook and maybe while relaxing on the couch on a lazy Sunday. To put a stop to the annoyance, ya right, you wish! While it seems that couples are fighting on those nitty gritty things most of the time. Those are little things which are ridiculously unnecessary. Some partners can understand (me sometimes) while some are not. It is true that arguments are one of the tools to improve the relationship. Which couple out there who doesn’t bicker at each other? Some people say if you not happy then you have to say it out and express your feelings. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Well, that’s just the way I am. I rather hide and keep what I am experiencing. I let it be. That’s a pessimistic traits and I can’t bring myself to talk about something which I loathe to someone whom I love the most. I can’t bring myself to express what I am feeling. I give hints and the way I react to a situation gives it off so well. When I have to open up my mouth and began pointing out the mistakes that will be when I know I will never want to take that path again. They say that it is important to know each other’s habit and not to hide their true colours before marriage. Some couples meet up with each other everyday ~ with lots to talk about and a lot to argue about. The more you meet someone, the more you quarrel. Isn’t it better than not to meet regularly (meet lesser!) so as to avoid disagreement? And that come back to the question on “What happens after marriage then?” 24 by 7 a week and 365 days a year. Does this mean that there are more to come? I rather live with Nana's cat (Anggun and Andre)! Most even quarrel because they think that they are smarter than the other especially in the case where the guy has a lower qualification that the woman. The woman will then start to bring the man down unintentionally sometimes. It hurts and the man keeps asking himself if he is really not worthy for her. In most cases, women are bullied. Man with their high profile ego refusing to accept a woman’s views and perspectives and thinks that they are superior. Men who stare at other woman when they are with their other half not realising that we do feel shitty inside till it becomes aggressive and starts to talk about it. And that’s the kick-off of the non-stop bickering…
Below are some of the common reasons for a tiff in general for all couples:
1) The biggest tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying ~ “Dear, are you listening to what I am saying now?”
2) Money worries ~ spending issues, maintenance and over spending especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchase. Some guys really go all out for their love ones and surprise them with expensive and lavish gifts and ended being broke before the next pay check. “I love her so I guess she deserved anything that she wants” “Dear, just choose anything that you want from this boutique” ~ without thinking further on the daily expenses and bills to be paid.
3) Laziness ~ After a while in a relationship, “Darling, I am tired to meet you today” ( He/she has already make plans with his/her friends for a baseball/ soccer/ football match/ shopping/high-tea)
4) Deciding on what to eat for dinner ~ BF: “What do you want to have for dinner?” GF: “Anything” BF:”There is no anything” The argument continues until someone decides on what to eat and will blame to the other party if dinner was not what he/she expects.
5) Sex ~ Lack of it makes someone feels deprived of attention, love and touch. It’s the passion that is what we are yearning for or maybe sometimes it’s just the timing. Wrong place and wrong time.
6) Not showing any interests in your partners ~ “I’m talking to you, are you even interested to hear me out?” and instead prefer to show his/her interests on other people or things
7) Putting the other half aside when in group session ~ invited him/ her to introduce to a group of friends for the first time and then leaving him/her all by himself/herself. Expects the other party to be okay with it. Alone, alienated and not knowing what the whole conversation is all about. Repeats on the next group meet up.
8) Arguments about disciplining the children.
9) Miscommunication ~ not understand what each other is trying to voice out
10) Commitments ~ not committed enough in the relationship
11) Responsibilities ~ not showing the responsibilities and carrying out duties in a marriage
12) And I am sure there are many more to be added in the list
Always remember: try to love your other half. Do not compare him or her to another woman or man as it really hurts the person, especially when you do have flaws yourself. Try to think whether you can be better yourself or make things better to improve the situation. Once harsh words are thrown about from a person’s mouth especially when they are in anger, it can never be taken back. They say True Love is hard to come by; learn to cherish and nurture it because if it is not from you then I guess, others will try to take your place…After all, it is better to have an argument that a “silent” day…Don’t you think so?
Arguments can happen on dates, after a long day at work, during dinner, while texting each other, on MSN, on Facebook and maybe while relaxing on the couch on a lazy Sunday. To put a stop to the annoyance, ya right, you wish! While it seems that couples are fighting on those nitty gritty things most of the time. Those are little things which are ridiculously unnecessary. Some partners can understand (me sometimes) while some are not. It is true that arguments are one of the tools to improve the relationship. Which couple out there who doesn’t bicker at each other? Some people say if you not happy then you have to say it out and express your feelings. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Well, that’s just the way I am. I rather hide and keep what I am experiencing. I let it be. That’s a pessimistic traits and I can’t bring myself to talk about something which I loathe to someone whom I love the most. I can’t bring myself to express what I am feeling. I give hints and the way I react to a situation gives it off so well. When I have to open up my mouth and began pointing out the mistakes that will be when I know I will never want to take that path again. They say that it is important to know each other’s habit and not to hide their true colours before marriage. Some couples meet up with each other everyday ~ with lots to talk about and a lot to argue about. The more you meet someone, the more you quarrel. Isn’t it better than not to meet regularly (meet lesser!) so as to avoid disagreement? And that come back to the question on “What happens after marriage then?” 24 by 7 a week and 365 days a year. Does this mean that there are more to come? I rather live with Nana's cat (Anggun and Andre)! Most even quarrel because they think that they are smarter than the other especially in the case where the guy has a lower qualification that the woman. The woman will then start to bring the man down unintentionally sometimes. It hurts and the man keeps asking himself if he is really not worthy for her. In most cases, women are bullied. Man with their high profile ego refusing to accept a woman’s views and perspectives and thinks that they are superior. Men who stare at other woman when they are with their other half not realising that we do feel shitty inside till it becomes aggressive and starts to talk about it. And that’s the kick-off of the non-stop bickering…
Below are some of the common reasons for a tiff in general for all couples:
1) The biggest tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying ~ “Dear, are you listening to what I am saying now?”
2) Money worries ~ spending issues, maintenance and over spending especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchase. Some guys really go all out for their love ones and surprise them with expensive and lavish gifts and ended being broke before the next pay check. “I love her so I guess she deserved anything that she wants” “Dear, just choose anything that you want from this boutique” ~ without thinking further on the daily expenses and bills to be paid.
3) Laziness ~ After a while in a relationship, “Darling, I am tired to meet you today” ( He/she has already make plans with his/her friends for a baseball/ soccer/ football match/ shopping/high-tea)
4) Deciding on what to eat for dinner ~ BF: “What do you want to have for dinner?” GF: “Anything” BF:”There is no anything” The argument continues until someone decides on what to eat and will blame to the other party if dinner was not what he/she expects.
5) Sex ~ Lack of it makes someone feels deprived of attention, love and touch. It’s the passion that is what we are yearning for or maybe sometimes it’s just the timing. Wrong place and wrong time.
6) Not showing any interests in your partners ~ “I’m talking to you, are you even interested to hear me out?” and instead prefer to show his/her interests on other people or things
7) Putting the other half aside when in group session ~ invited him/ her to introduce to a group of friends for the first time and then leaving him/her all by himself/herself. Expects the other party to be okay with it. Alone, alienated and not knowing what the whole conversation is all about. Repeats on the next group meet up.
8) Arguments about disciplining the children.
9) Miscommunication ~ not understand what each other is trying to voice out
10) Commitments ~ not committed enough in the relationship
11) Responsibilities ~ not showing the responsibilities and carrying out duties in a marriage
12) And I am sure there are many more to be added in the list
Always remember: try to love your other half. Do not compare him or her to another woman or man as it really hurts the person, especially when you do have flaws yourself. Try to think whether you can be better yourself or make things better to improve the situation. Once harsh words are thrown about from a person’s mouth especially when they are in anger, it can never be taken back. They say True Love is hard to come by; learn to cherish and nurture it because if it is not from you then I guess, others will try to take your place…After all, it is better to have an argument that a “silent” day…Don’t you think so?
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