It’s Sunday again! Feet are aching from the long walk in
town yesterday from Somerset 313 to Far East Plaza. From one end to the other. On
the other hand, I am hungry now, blogging and Breakfast should be served in bed
(especially by the future husband). Life would have been a little wonderful I guess!
What have been in my mind lately? Well, too much to be
listed down in words. I’m restless and I feel so distant about everything. People
change and I change. My mindset and goals have changed. My personalities and attitude
changed – and hopefully for the better. The way I look at things in life changes
and the way I make my decisions changed drastically.
I am no longer someone who takes in 100% of what people says
and I would not accept people planning things for me. Like what to do and how
my life should go and what should be done. I’m sick of listening to instructions
and people telling me what to do. Haha…
I’m kind of lost interest of what is currently happening. It
doesn’t excite me like it used to do. Funny though, how feelings changed when
people around you don’t seem to even care about how you feel. People assume
that I am OKAY and fine with everything just because I smile all the time. I just
don’t feel belong in every little occasion and it feels horrible being an
outcast. Most of the time the reasons given to counter those feelings are, “you
are just too negative about things”. Oh well, am I? For all you know, I am a
very easy going person but being there each and every time, I don’t feel
belonged. It seems that people have their own interest and topics to talk about. There is just no common topic
for me to bring out and be part of everything. The feeling is very overwhelming
when at times you are just left alone all by yourself. It feels weird and bizarre
to be silent all the time. I lost that cheerful part of me being around people during
these years. For I am not sure what is the root cause for this unhappiness.
For the fact that I’m sick and tired of having the constant
negativity. It’s not healthy and I know it’s not good for the relationship.
When I voiced it out, there were no assurance that everything would be fine.
That’s life for now ..the path a few more months down the road
seems vague…I don’t know what to do ….
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